My News Today » Humor

This helpful flowchart was designed for everyone who cannot figure out which religion most suits his or her lifestyle

Kyle — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:50:07 +0000

Scienceblogs – Flowcharts are a great way to make sense out of confusing scenarios, and there’s no scenario that’s more confusing than trying to figure out what religion you should follow. This helpful flowchart was created to guide you through this complex process:

Source

Drunkest Guy in the World Remixed!!!

Kyle — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:03:12 +0000

Man does Jig in Store for more Beer..or something like that.

Kyle — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 20:41:24 +0000

Another day, another stoner calling the cops because someone stole their weed

Kyle — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:40:54 +0000

3News – There are limits to being a crime victim, as a woman who called Saginaw County, Michigan sheriff’s deputies to report the theft of marijuana found out.

Detective Sgt Randy F Pfau said the 54-year-old woman was arrested early Sunday after reporting two men had broken into her home in Brant Township, 130km north-northwest of Detroit.

Pfau said the woman told deputies the men fled after one of them demanded her marijuana plants. He said the woman then was booked on charges of manufacturing and delivering marijuana.

Pfau told The Saginaw News the woman claimed the drug was for personal use but didn’t possess a medical marijuana card. He said police will seek charges pending test results on the marijuana they did confiscate.

Pro Tip: If you are going to burglarize a house it’s a good idea not to check your facebook profile on the victims computer before you leave.

Kyle — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 20:17:30 +0000

The Journal – The popular online social networking site Facebook helped lead to an alleged burglar’s arrest after he stopped check his account on the victim’s computer, but forgot to log out before leaving the home with two diamond rings.

Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary.

According to court records, Deputy P.D. Ware of the Berkeley County Sheriff’s Department responded on Aug. 28 to the victim’s home after she reported the burglary.

She told police that someone had broken into her home through a bedroom window.

There were open cabinets in her garage, and other signs of a burglar.

The victim later noticed that the intruder also used her computer to check his Facebook status, and his account was still open when she checked the computer.

City supplies kids with spray paint and leaves them unsupervised to paint mural in skate park. This works out about how you’d expect (w/ pic)

Kyle — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 21:04:16 +0000

Calgary Sun – There’s no sign of the word “fiasco” among the gallons of garish paint, though every other conceivable F-Word from the young-adult vocabulary can clearly be seen.

It’s too bad. More than any other, the word fiasco sums up the sheer, mind-boggling, Godzilla-scale vomit of graffiti that now covers the concrete walls of Shaw Millennium Park, along with every pole, pipe and surface within reach.

If it was just vandalism, it’d be despicable. But the vandalism at Calgary’s skateboard park was all but endorsed by the city, which supplied the paint, but not the supervision.

Over the course of two days, a pack of paint-wielding hooligans attacked the blank canvas that was the spiral Landmark building at Millennium Park, turning it into a masterpiece of mayhem and myopia. What started as art ended up as a hideous eyesore.

If it’s a testament to the sheer tenacity of the vandals with the cans of spray paint, it’s a monument to the blind stupidity of the grown-ups who left “young urban artists” alone to decorate a public park.

“They destroyed the fricking park — they graffitied the hell out of it. They tagged the entire fricking park,” said Ald. John Mar, barely able to contain his anger and outrage at the mess, and a clean up bill estimated at between $30,000 and $60,000.

At least the Ward 8 alderman kept his cool, and stuck to “fricking” when talking to a family newspaper.

Cankles. It’s not news, it’s CNN

Kyle — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 20:57:20 +0000

CNN – Barbara Simone of Glen Burnie, Maryland, considers herself terribly flawed. She refuses to show her ankles and she’d never allow them to be photographed. She barely wants to talk about them; in fact, when asked about her legs, she mumbles under her breath that she hates them.

“Adopt a Pet” news segment: Reporter 0 Dog 1

Kyle — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:52:04 +0000

The Seven Types of Employees You Meet at Best Buy

Kyle — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 22:06:06 +0000

Gizmodo – Have you ever noticed that no matter which Best Buy you go into, you end up seeing the same people working there? That’s because there are seven types of people that work at every single Best Buy, with no exceptions.

Hearses to be made from Priuses…Cool!

Kyle — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 22:19:41 +0000

boingboing.net – A limousine company in Japan plans to make hearses out of Priuses. They’ll sell for $80,000. Toyota Prius Hearse